Is This What Happens When You Die?
by KazuneXKarin12
Summary: Chandler and Sebastian have gotten married and moved in with each other, they thought the only thing that they had to worry about was Rachel trying to sell their house, they were wrong. Based on Beetlejuice
1. House

Chandler stood as still as he could, a feat that would wow Sebastian, he was trying to put the finishing touch on the clay model of Sebastian and his house. His eyes were close to crossing, Sebastian always joked that his face would get stuck like that and that they'd have to go to the hospital to fix it. Placing the cute little weathervane, that Chandler had begged Sebastian to get, on top of the roof Chandler straightened up to look at his work.

Chandler had started this little hobby a few months ago after watching a couple of people do it on the T.V. and Chandler had time since Sebastian and him were on their honeymoon. Sebastian had offered to take Chandler to France, Italy or somewhere romantic, but Chandler couldn't speak any of the languages and he had a very bad fear of planes. So they decided just to honeymoon in the house they bought when they were engaged. It was a cute little house; white with blue tripping and a garden with beautiful flowers. It was a two story house a bit too big, though Chandler had hoped to make it a bit less large by adopting some children but being married to Sebastian "no-kids" Smythe that was out of the question, so Chandler would just joke that the house had to be large or else they would never fit Sebastian's ego. This quip was followed by a scowl and then some tickling.

"Hey babe. Wow! That looks nice, I knew you were good with your hands but wow!" Sebastian exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Chandler's waist giving him as smirk as the brunet made the subtle innuendo.

Chandler elbowed the other gently as the brunet chuckled, giving the blond a squeeze. Chandler turned his head to scold his husband but ended up with Sebastian's lips on his. They were about to get into it when the door bell rang.

"ugh, who would that be?" Chandler wondered, pouting a bit.

"Dunno, would you go check?" Sebastian asked releasing the little blond from his grasp.

"Sure, be right back." Chandler said, taking a few steps towards the door.

The blond, however, only made it a few steps before arms were around him and lips were kissing him. Chandler giggled, he had thought it was weird that Sebastian had just let him go like that, it was just so Sebastian could pounce the blond. The door bell rang once more.

"Maybe you should get it this time." Chandler said trying to hide a smile.

"Sure babe." Sebastian said, a little glint in his eye.

Sebastian walked a few steps away, suddenly Chandler jumped onto Sebastian's back, Sebastian grabbed Chandler's legs so he wouldn't fall and was now giving the blond a piggyback ride.

"What's this?" Sebastian asked chuckling lightly.

"I don't know, I just did it." Chandler confessed blushing a little, giving Sebastian's cheek a little kiss.

The door bell rang once again.

"Okay who the hell is that?" Sebastian growled obviously angry with being interrupted.

Sebastian went over to the window, you could usually see the front door from the attic. Down at the door was a girl with long brown hair and an obnoxious orange dress and personality.

"It's Rachel." Chandler groaned, she was the last person he wanted to see.

"It's your turn babe." Sebastian said putting the blond down slowly.

Chandler sighed as he made his way down the stairs to the front door, pausing to collect himself before opening the door. Rachel was inches away from the door bell as the door swung open.

"What do you want Rachel?" Chandler asked, hand on his hip, there was only one reason Rachel ever came over to their house.

"Chandler I'm $260,00, it's a real offer from a couple in New York City who only saw a photograph!" Rachel squealed in delight.

"Rachel, don't send people photos of our house." Chandler sighed shaking his head.

"It's a couple just like you with a little boy and they're just looking for some peace and quiet." Rachel said trying to draw some sympathy from the man in front of her.

"That's what we're looking for." Chandler said with a forced smile as he closed the door.

"But this house is too big for you, it really ought to be for a family with k-" Rachel stopped herself as quickly as she could.

Chandler froze, those word ringing in his head, it wasn't his fault that they didn't have any children.

"Oh pumpkin I didn't mean anything by it but-"

"Leave." Chandler said coldly, slamming the door shut.

Chandler stood still, his arms wrapped around himself, staring at the ground, willing himself not to cry. Sebastian poked his head around the corner to check on the blond and he was ready to go beat Rachel to a pulp, who cared if she's a girl no one makes Chandler cry while he's around.

"Babe what's wrong?" Sebastian asked, walking over and wrapping his arms around the boy.

Chandler buried his face into his husband's chest, letting a few sobs fall from his mouth.

"Ssshhh it's okay, I'm right here." Sebastian said rubbing circles into his back, "Hey do you want to go into town with me. I know shopping always lifts your mood."

Chandler took a few moments to collect himself before looking up and nodding his head. Sebastian smiled a used his thumb to wipe away a tear making its way down the blond's cheek. Sebastian grabbed Chandler's hand grabbed the keys and made his way out the door to his sleek black Camaro.

The town that they lived in wasn't very big and there wasn't much to speak of stores, but Chandler appreciated the thought as he looked at tools and fertilizer, he did however find some new material to use to prefect his handmade clay model so the was content. Afterwards the two went down to the ice cream shop and shared a mint, chocolate and Vanilla three-scooped ice cream, they were only going to get one scoop but Sebastian couldn't say no to those big blue eyes that pleaded him for just two more scoops.

It was almost dark when the two began making their way back, they were almost there all they had to do was go over the bridge, that went over a river.

"Are you sure you wouldn't want to go to France or something, isn't stay home a little boring?" Sebastian asked, throwing one arm around Chandler, the other still on the wheel.

"No way there's no place like home. Plus there's not much here which means we can spend more time doing **that**." Chandler purred throwing Sebastian a seductive look.

Sebastian was about to lean over for a kiss when Chandler noticed a dog had ran in front of the car.

"SEBASTIAN LOOK OUT!" Chandler yelled.

Sebastian swerved to miss it, a big mistake. The car broke through the railing of the bridge, both of them screamed as they plummeted down into the cold, icy river below.


	2. Handbook for the Recently Deceased

Chandler shivered as he stepped into the house, both him and Sebastian were soaking wet, their shoes made a squeaky sound as they walked.

"How's your arm?" Sebastian asked as they walked into the living room.

"It feels frozen." Chandler said, holding his left arm gingerly.

Chandler stared at the fire burning in the fireplace, he tried to remember when that was lit, there was no way either of them would leave the fireplace going when they were out. Would they? Sebastian steered Chandler over to the fire trying to warm themselves up after that swim in the river.

"Hey Chan?" Sebastian asked staring into the embers.

"What is it?" Chandler asked sticking his hands out to warm them next to the fire.

"Do you remember how we got here?" Sebastian asked, the memory wiped from his memory.

Chandler opened his mouth to answer but realized that he couldn't remember either, the last he remembered was falling into the river and then coming through the front door, there was no memory of the in between. Suddenly the fireplace's flames shot up, Chandler yelped and pulled his hands back. Sebastian quickly picked up Chandler's right hand, the tips of his finger were on fire, however, there was no pain. Chandler quickly blew out his fingers, his eyes as wide as saucers.

"Sebastian what's going on?" Chandler asked shaking in fear.

"Stay here, I'm going to go retrace our steps." Sebastian said patting Chandler's knee as he stood up.

Sebastian opened the door and climbed down the stairs, he looked up and suddenly he was in a completely different place, it was full of nothing but yellow sand, he looked around he couldn't find the door he had come out of. Suddenly there was a hissing sound from behind him, he looked to see a giant snake looking animal with very sharp teeth. Sebastian quickly ran the other way, his front door coming into view, he ran up the stairs two at a time, checking over his shoulder for the monster, a hand went to grab his arm it was Chandler frantically pulling him inside.

"Wha- Chan did you see that!?" Sebastian asked in shock, this couldn't be happening.

"Two hours!" Chandler exclaimed, locking the door behind him.

"What?" Sebastian asked, that made no sense.

"That's how long you were gone!" Chandler huffed looking a bit spooked.

"That's impossible, I was only out for a few seconds." Sebastian said, there was no way he had been in that place for that long of a time.

Chandler grabbed the clock off the fireplace mantle and handed it to Sebastian. It was two hours later than when Sebastian had gotten home. Sebastian felt like he needed to sit down.

"That's not all." Chandler said swallowing hard.

Sebastian gave Chandler a freaked out look, how could there be more? The blond picked up a toy horse that Sebastian had gotten him for his birthday he moved it across the mirror that was above the mantle of the fireplace. The horse moved across the mirror, however, Chandler's hand and Chandler himself could not be seen in the mirror. Sebastian's mouth felt dry.

"There's that, and there's also that." Chandler said, shyly pointing to a book that was lying on the coffee table.

Sebastian walked slowly over to it, like it was about to explode at any moment. He picked it up, holding it out at a reasonable distance. He read out loud with a shaky voice,

"Handbook For the Recently Deceased."

"Sebastian, I don't think we survived that crash." Chandler said gravely.

Sebastian stood there, his brain still trying to catch up to him, they couldn't be dead, this had to be some sort of a joke. Chandler took the book from Sebastian and flipped through the pages.

"What are you doing?" Sebastian asked snapping out of his trance.

"Maybe this will give us some answers." Chandler said looking for a table of contents.

"Are you really just going to believe that we're dead?!" Sebastian snapped angrily.

Chandler flinched the book dropping onto the floor, he didn't like it when Sebastian got mad.

"No, babe I'm sorry, this is just a lot to take in. I'm sorry." Sebastian said bending down to pick up the book and giving Chandler a quick peck on the lips, "Are we really dead?"

"I think so, how else do explain not being able to see our reflections in the mirror, where you disappeared too or the fact that we can't remember anything after when fel-drowned." The blond said, the last word feeling funny on his tongue.

There was a moment of silence as Sebastian took his turn looking through the handbook, Chandler looked around the room nervously, looking for anything he might've missed that would better explain this situation.

"Can you just give me the basics about what has happened?" Chandler asked not able to take this waiting any long.

"This book doesn't work like that, what do you want to know?" Sebastian asked looking up as he flipped a page.

"Well why did you disappear when you stepped off the porch? Are we half way to heaven are we half way to hell?" Chandler asked, those two questions were the ones that were burning in his mind.

"There's nothing about heaven or hell, this thing reads like stereo instructions, listen to this 'Geographical and Temporal Perimeters: Functional perimeters vary from manifestation to manifestation." Sebastian read out, closing the book, a cloud of dust floating out from it.

Chandler groaned this was going to be a long night. After a few hours of trying to figure out what was going on Chandler decided to clean the attic to relive some of his stress, however, everything he cleaned looked dirtier than when he started, frustrated his took a seat on the couch up there, dust flying all over the place, Chandler let out a frustrated growl.

"Cabin fever hun?" Sebastian asked from his seat near the attic window where he spent trying to figure out the handbook.

"I can't clean anything properly, the vacuums out in the garage but we can't leave then house and where are all the other dead people Why is it just me and you?" Chandler asked frustrated with the whole situation.

Sebastian smiled impishly and responded,

"Maybe this is heaven."

"Heaven wouldn't have dust all over the place." Chandler said, however, a smile still lingered on his lips.

Suddenly the sound of a car pulling up the driveway filled the air, both Sebastian and Chandler looked out the window to see who it was. It was Rachel, she was wearing a tacky old black dress, a couple of tissues in her hand. She stepped out of the car and took a long sad look at the house.

"Rachel! Hey Rachel we're up here!" Chandler yelled trying to get her attention, but she seemed to not be able to hear him.

"She can't hear you right? It says here that the living won't usually see the dead." Sebastian said looking at the book.

"Can't or won't?" Chandler asked a little intrigued.

"It just says can't, god this book is so stupid I can't understand anything in it." Sebastian growled throwing it on the nearest table.

Chandler sighed, taking a seat on Sebastian's lap, arms around his neck.

"Bas, sweetie, we're dead. I don't think we have much to worry about anymore." Chandler said as calmly as he could.

Right at that moment the sound of another vehicle could be heard, they looked out the window once more to see a giant moving truck coming to park in their driveway.


End file.
